Laughter is the best medicine and a great way to start the new year 2023 by sharing funny happy new quotes with your friends, family, and loved ones. Enjoy the new year with these funny quotes and make your friends laugh by sharing these short and funny happy new year wishes. We have compiled a list of 50 funny quotes about the happy new year. So, read these quotes until the end and share the best ones with your friends, colleagues, and family members.
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50 Happy New Year Funny Quotes
1. “I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!”
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2. “Happy New Year! Let’s eat, drink, and be merry – for tomorrow we diet!”
3. “Have told so many friends “Don’t worry, New Year will be better!“. I love misguiding people.”
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4. “New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” James Agate
5. “I hope that I will be with a woman other than you this New Year. I am tired of being your boyfriend. I think I want to try being your husband instead.”
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6. “I will try to be more understanding, less critical, more thoughtful, and less annoying this year. Enjoy the brand new year!”
7. “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” —Oscar Wilde
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8. “I can’t wait to control-alt-delete 2022, and start anew.”
9. “New Year’s Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds. That’s why it’s the best holiday!”
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10. “Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.”
11. “It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!”
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12. “Let us celebrate this New Year’s Eve in honor of the time we successfully wasted this year.”
13. “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.”
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14. “Happy New Year! I don’t know about you, but my New Year resolves to stop feeling guilty about not keeping last year’s resolution.”
15. “I would quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.”
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16. “I wish God give you more money to help the poor and less money to spend on junk foods. Wishing you a healthy and disease-free year!”
17. “I’m still the same person I was last year—now I’m just hung over.”
18. “May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall.” Aleister Crowley
19. “It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” —William Thomas
20. “Though I am wishing you a very happy New Year, remember you still have the same old louse of a spouse!”
21. “Good parties create a temporary youthfulness.”
22. “Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did through the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!”
23. “I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say, “I ordered this a year ago!””
24. “This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count and mortgage interest not rise. Happy New Year!”
25. “Remember when we were younger and just wanted to stay up on New Year’s Eve? Now all we want to do is sleep!”
26. “The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.”
27. “People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.”
28. “Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”
29. “I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!”
30. “You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” Charlie Brown
31. “This New Year’s I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2.” —Melanie White
32. “Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.” —Judith Christ
33. “New years are like restart buttons. You think you can push the button and start things all over again but then realize your life is too messed up to be restarted fresh!”
34. “A new year doesn’t come to change your life. It comes to remind you that one more year has gone and you’re still the same useless moron who thinks he can make his resolutions come true!”
35. “If 2023 was a person I’d sue him for pain and suffering.”
36. “I would lose weight for my New Year’s resolution, but I hate losing.”
37. “Stop checking my status. I don’t post my resolutions here.”
38. “I’m so excited for the new year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect.”
39. “Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Only 30 pounds to go.”
40. “Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
41. “If I had done you wrong, I am sorry. May you still give me a chance this New Year to do it over and over again. Happy New Year!”
42. “May your dreams get fulfilled as well as your bills. Best of luck with the New Year, dear.”
43. “May this new year bring you more money so that you can buy expensive gifts for me. Happy new year!”
44. “Flip a coin… If the head comes, I am yours, if the tail comes then you are mine. Happy new year.”
45. “May this New Year bring actual change in you – not the recurrence of old habits in a new package.”
46.”I wish you can resist temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year!”
47. “I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never remember them.”
48. “New years are like pages in a book that’s so boring. You always think that the next page will be interesting, but it turns out to be the same every time. Happy New Year!”
49. “May your trips and tricks work amazing for you in this upcoming year. Stay sane and safe.”
50. “Wasted another year and will waste more, but thank god I am doing this with you. Happy new year!”
