60 Best Funny Quotes About Weight Loss

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best funny quotes about weight loss

Here you will find a list of the 60 best funny quotes about weight loss. Read these humorous quotes about losing weight and share a laugh with your friends and family.

Losing weight is challenging,, but you can make this process more fun by reading these memes on weight loss. Humor is a great way to cope with stress, and if you are feeling a bit tensed about your weight loss progress, then we are sure these quotes will make it easier for you.

Read all these funny sayings about losing weight until the end, and don’t forget to share them with your friends on social media.

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60 Best Funny Quotes About Weight Loss

Now, let’s explore these funniest quotes about weight loss without any further ado.

1. “I would lose weight, but I hate losing.” – Unknown

funny quotes about weight loss - would lose weight but hating losing

2. “Imagine the weight you’re losing is going to the person you hate.”

3. “You know what the secret to weight loss is? Don’t eat much.” – Simon Cowell

funny quotes about losing weight - secret of weight loss dont eat much

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4. ” A Moment on the Lips…A Lifetime on the Hips”

5. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”- Unknown

losing weight funny quotes - midnight snacks light in fridge

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6. Halfway to weight loss goal. Boobs stick out further than the stomach.

7. “Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.” – Mary Tyler Moore

hilarious funny weight loss quotes - diets for those thick and tired

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8. “NUTRITION FACT: If you drink a gallon of water per day, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated my friends.” – Tobi Corley

9. “Some diets are so good, they take your BREADTH away.”

funny quotes about losing weight - some diets good take breadth away

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10. “Weight loss is not a physical challenge, it’s a mental one.” – Unknown

11. “Eat as much as you like just don’t swallow it.” – Steve Burns

funny quotes about weight loss - eat much like dont swallow

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12. How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, turn your head to the right. Repeat this exercise whenever food is offered.

13. “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.” – Bob Hope

14. I wish I could lose weight as easy as I lose my keys, pen, temper, and my mind!

losing weight funny quotes - could lose weight as easy i lose my keys pen

15. “If it’s true that stress brings on weight loss, why the heck am I not invisble right now?” – Tamara Thomas

Losing Weight Funny Quotes

16. Sweat is fat crying.

funny quotes about weight loss - sweat is fat crying

17. “Don’t dig your grave with your knife and fork.” – English Proverb

18. “I’m not losing weight, I’m getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again.” – Unknown

19. “You are not going to get the butt you want by sitting on it.” – Unknown

funny quotes about weight loss - not going to get butt you want

20. ” Keep an Open Mind and a Closed Refrigerator”

21. “I’ve got 99 Problems and Turmeric solved like 86 of them.” – Unknown

22. ​”​My wife has come up with a very simple device to make me lose weight. It’s called a food bill.” – Robert Orben

funny quotes about weight loss - wife has come up device make lose weight

23. “French fries are the most eaten vegetable in America.” – Super Size Me

24. “Until you get your Nutrition right, nothing is going to change.”- Unknown

25. “I lost so much weight, people kept looking at my ankles. Why not? That’s where my pants were.” – Robert Orben

26. “I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.” – Linda Evangelista

funny quotes about weight loss - dont eat as much would like to

27. “The hardest part of dieting is keeping your mouth shut.”

28. “You know when you buy a bag of salad and it gets all brown and soggy? Cookies don’t do that.” – Unknown

29. “I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress.” – Unknown

30. “Little Pickers wear Bigger Knickers”

Funny Quotes About Losing Weight

31. “Never eat more than you can lift” – Miss Piggy

funny quotes about losing weight - never eat more than you can lift

32. “She’s got this real funny idea about a diet; you don’t get fat if no one sees you eating.” – Gloria Naylor

33. “Eat, Drink and be Merry. For tomorrow we Diet”

34. “We can all put weight on or lose weight.” – Keith Emerson

losing weight funny quotes - can put weight on or lose weight

35. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already! – Tommy Cooper

36. “In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.” – Winston Churchill

37. “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” – Anonymous

hilarious funny weight loss quotes - only i can change my life

38. “It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren’t so handy in the refrigerator.” – Hugh Allen

39. “Drinking three glasses of water before every meal will help you lose weight, because you will burn a lot of calories running to the bathroom.” – Anonymous

40. “The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.” – Margaret Cho

“The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.” - Margaret Cho

41. “My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like, just don’t swallow it.” – Harry Secombe

42. “Saying yes to the skinny jeans by saying no to the donuts.” – Betsy Canas Garmon

43. Fact: Bananas are 75% water and 100% NOT chocolate.

funny weight loss quotes - bananas fact

44. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.” – Anonymous

45. “I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.” – Jennifer Greene Duncan

funny quotes about weight loss - allergic to food breaks out into fat

Hilarious Funny Weight Loss Quotes

46. “I am a better person when I have less on my plate.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

funny quotes about weight loss - better person when less on plate

47. “I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.” – Mae West

48. “The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books, how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.” – Andy Rooney

49. I lost some weight, but then I was like, Oh, sh*t, there it is!

50. “The only way to lose weight is to check it in as airline baggage.” – Peggy Ryan

funny quotes about weight loss - only way to lose weight

51. “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone

52. “The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.” – Anonymous

53. “The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin Jones

54. “A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry.” – Anonymous

losing weight funny quotes - diet code for time when eat food you dislike

55. “My body is less judgmental of my diet than my mind is.” – Mackenzie Banta

56. I started a diet yesterday. Thank God that bullsh*t is over!

57. “Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.” – Dan Bennett

hilarious funny weight loss quotes - false hopes of first hours of diet

58. “I always believed if you take care of your body it will take care of you.”– Ted Lindsay

59. “A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.” – Herbert B. Prochnow

60. “The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you are off it.” – Jackie Gleason

funny quotes about weight loss - second day of diet

Conclusion

We summarize our list of 60 best funny quotes about weight loss. We hope these funny and humorous quotes would have made you laugh or at least brightened your day. If yes, please don’t forget to share this post on social media. Also, let us know which quotes are your favorite in the comments below. See you in our next post, and all the best for your weight loss journey.

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