Here you will find a list of the 60 best funny quotes about weight loss. Read these humorous quotes about losing weight and share a laugh with your friends and family.
Losing weight is challenging,, but you can make this process more fun by reading these memes on weight loss. Humor is a great way to cope with stress, and if you are feeling a bit tensed about your weight loss progress, then we are sure these quotes will make it easier for you.
Read all these funny sayings about losing weight until the end, and don’t forget to share them with your friends on social media.
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60 Best Funny Quotes About Weight Loss
Now, let’s explore these funniest quotes about weight loss without any further ado.
1. “I would lose weight, but I hate losing.” – Unknown
2. “Imagine the weight you’re losing is going to the person you hate.”
3. “You know what the secret to weight loss is? Don’t eat much.” – Simon Cowell
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4. ” A Moment on the Lips…A Lifetime on the Hips”
5. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”- Unknown
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6. Halfway to weight loss goal. Boobs stick out further than the stomach.
7. “Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.” – Mary Tyler Moore
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8. “NUTRITION FACT: If you drink a gallon of water per day, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated my friends.” – Tobi Corley
9. “Some diets are so good, they take your BREADTH away.”
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10. “Weight loss is not a physical challenge, it’s a mental one.” – Unknown
11. “Eat as much as you like just don’t swallow it.” – Steve Burns
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12. How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, turn your head to the right. Repeat this exercise whenever food is offered.
13. “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.” – Bob Hope
14. I wish I could lose weight as easy as I lose my keys, pen, temper, and my mind!
15. “If it’s true that stress brings on weight loss, why the heck am I not invisble right now?” – Tamara Thomas
Losing Weight Funny Quotes
16. Sweat is fat crying.
17. “Don’t dig your grave with your knife and fork.” – English Proverb
18. “I’m not losing weight, I’m getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again.” – Unknown
19. “You are not going to get the butt you want by sitting on it.” – Unknown
20. ” Keep an Open Mind and a Closed Refrigerator”
21. “I’ve got 99 Problems and Turmeric solved like 86 of them.” – Unknown
22. ”My wife has come up with a very simple device to make me lose weight. It’s called a food bill.” – Robert Orben
23. “French fries are the most eaten vegetable in America.” – Super Size Me
24. “Until you get your Nutrition right, nothing is going to change.”- Unknown
25. “I lost so much weight, people kept looking at my ankles. Why not? That’s where my pants were.” – Robert Orben
26. “I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.” – Linda Evangelista
27. “The hardest part of dieting is keeping your mouth shut.”
28. “You know when you buy a bag of salad and it gets all brown and soggy? Cookies don’t do that.” – Unknown
29. “I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress.” – Unknown
30. “Little Pickers wear Bigger Knickers”
Funny Quotes About Losing Weight
31. “Never eat more than you can lift” – Miss Piggy
32. “She’s got this real funny idea about a diet; you don’t get fat if no one sees you eating.” – Gloria Naylor
33. “Eat, Drink and be Merry. For tomorrow we Diet”
34. “We can all put weight on or lose weight.” – Keith Emerson
35. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already! – Tommy Cooper
36. “In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.” – Winston Churchill
37. “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” – Anonymous
38. “It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren’t so handy in the refrigerator.” – Hugh Allen
39. “Drinking three glasses of water before every meal will help you lose weight, because you will burn a lot of calories running to the bathroom.” – Anonymous
40. “The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.” – Margaret Cho
41. “My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like, just don’t swallow it.” – Harry Secombe
42. “Saying yes to the skinny jeans by saying no to the donuts.” – Betsy Canas Garmon
43. Fact: Bananas are 75% water and 100% NOT chocolate.
44. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.” – Anonymous
45. “I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.” – Jennifer Greene Duncan
Hilarious Funny Weight Loss Quotes
46. “I am a better person when I have less on my plate.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
47. “I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.” – Mae West
48. “The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books, how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.” – Andy Rooney
49. I lost some weight, but then I was like, Oh, sh*t, there it is!
50. “The only way to lose weight is to check it in as airline baggage.” – Peggy Ryan
51. “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone
52. “The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.” – Anonymous
53. “The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin Jones
54. “A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry.” – Anonymous
55. “My body is less judgmental of my diet than my mind is.” – Mackenzie Banta
56. I started a diet yesterday. Thank God that bullsh*t is over!
57. “Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.” – Dan Bennett
58. “I always believed if you take care of your body it will take care of you.”– Ted Lindsay
59. “A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.” – Herbert B. Prochnow
60. “The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you are off it.” – Jackie Gleason
We summarize our list of 60 best funny quotes about weight loss. We hope these funny and humorous quotes would have made you laugh or at least brightened your day. If yes, please don’t forget to share this post on social media. Also, let us know which quotes are your favorite in the comments below. See you in our next post, and all the best for your weight loss journey.